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My house is such a wreck. I have packed up a lot and Paul and I took a load of boxes to the storage bldg today, and I have brought several carloads of stuff to Goodwill and I have thrown away and recycled stuff but seriously the house doesn't look much emptier or cleaner. There are spots here and there that look better. My aim is to not let it overwhelm me. I have to take it in small bites and not let the hugeness of it get to me.

On that point, when someone stops by and says something like "You've got a lot of stuff" or "Now you'll have a chance to sort through things and get organized" or whatever I feel even worse.I am not sure why. I know these things and I am working my way through and I just have to take lots of deep breaths and keep going and taking more breaths and going again.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 4th, 2006 12:58 am (UTC)
re: people commenting - it would irritate the hell outta me.

kind of like when someone has lost a child, and ppl come up and say, you can have another one, or, he/she is in a better place now. imnsho, it all sounds patronizing and condescending. you know, like having your faced rubbed in it. at least, that is how it feels for me, and it doesn't feel good.

jut know YOU are doing exactly what's right for YOU, and you are far more restrained wrt the 'commenters' than i would be.

you never fail to inspire me with your swimming, your ideas, your actions, your human-ness.

iow, you ROCK, judith!
Aug. 4th, 2006 01:16 am (UTC)
So sweet of you! I keep thinking what a crank I am to have these reactions.

And you're right about the other situations. When I was in my twenties in college, I had a sick cat whom I brought to the vet. I called from the music department in the afternoon to check on her and the vet said "we're so sorry." My kitty died. I was bereft, so sad that I couldn't stop the tears (I tried). A fellow student asked what was wrong and I said my cat just died and she said "It was only a cat!".

If she knew how long I have remembered that...
Aug. 4th, 2006 04:05 am (UTC)
Are You Packing Again?
Have no fear. Last April, I think it was, I took music, food and beverage, map of completed project and husband up to attic to get organized. I surveyed the damages, called it do-able, and haven't even thought about it since until I heard you talking boxes again.

P. S. I'm not going up there tomorrow either.
Aug. 4th, 2006 04:18 am (UTC)
Re: Are You Packing Again?
No, I wouldn't either, if I were you.

In my case I have to pack the shit up. I have to get it all out so my home can be hauled away and a new one installed. Fortunately I have time to do this! I can, I can!!

Just tonight, though, roomie Paul said that although we hauled a bunch of boxes off it's hard to tell anything's missing...I was tempted to ask why he felt it necessary to point that out. But I didn't.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


Judith Lautner
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