I wonder because I am not really sure. He resisted the physical therapists who tried to get him to work what he had left - until near the end, when he almost desperately asked for them, when it was too late. He asked me to slip him a drink of water, knowing it was against doctor's orders, because he was uncomfortable. I don't think he thought there could be serious complications. There almost were. He told his daughters that he would fight this, that he would survive - but he really wasn't used to fighting! That was all an illusion. When he previously got medicines to help counteract the effects of his kidney failure and low red blood cell count he took credit for what they did. He did nothing himself to help his condition, but only made it worse.
And yet he ended up in that bed so weak, so very weak, that his cheeks were caved in, he couldn't lift his head, it was hard to write anything and he certainly couldn't talk. It's terrible to feel so weak. I think of those who feel this weak day after day, for whom getting up and getting dressed is so huge an effort that it hardly seems worthwhile. Most of the rest of us really don't comprehend it, how it feels.