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One thing I don't do well with is the lack of loyalty in male-female relationships, when they dissolve, that is. What I mean is that when the sexual part is no longer in the picture neither is anything else. I have never understood this. I wonder if I am stuck in a strange kind of childhood, destined to be ever confused.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 3rd, 2004 03:55 am (UTC)
There appear to be two kinds of people, those that wish to remain friends afterwards, and those that don't. It would also appear to be generally true that couples are mixed in this regard.

Oct. 6th, 2004 10:05 am (UTC)
I always found that strange too. But it wasn't the case with every boy I dated. One I'm still in touch with I dated when I was nineteen. I guess it depends on how the relationship ended, as to whether the friendship continues.
Oct. 6th, 2004 10:47 am (UTC)
I have a friend who is still friends with every man she ever dated or had any kind of relationship with. I think it's amazing. There must be something about her that invites this continuation. She and I are very alike, yet, in the way we accept who we are, the way we invite people into our lives. I almost never say that I don't want to see someone again. I am at times glad not to, but only when the guy was a clear total asshole and we never should have gotten together in the first place.

I can think of two men right now who do not contact me any more simply because they have girlfriends or wives who will not allow it. Their wives or lovers dont' want them to be friends with former lovers or female friends at all. I am of two minds about things like this. I honestly feel that if my connection with a man is not enough to hold him, then we simply were not meant to be. Yet at the same time I can see how one would be jealous in this way. In any case, I would never insist that any man I date cut off friendships with all women he knows.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


Judith Lautner
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