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The joy of depression

I have named it. I am depressed today. I am at the lowest ebb I have been in in quite a while. But it's okay! I have been here before, I know it, it's familiar, and I know I'll move on past it. Also, crying is good. I have had a couple of opportunities to do that today: during the exercise video, during the movie I saw (Home at the end of the World), and now after watching the ER I recorded. In the first case, I was upset because I found it so difficult to do certain moves on the video, then the movie and ER pulled out familiar feelings from inside me. Loneliness and the inability to trust. So it's pity time! I get to wallow for a while and I'm not even bothering anyone! It's all good, really.

Sometimes I can get it out by listening to music. I wonder what the music does to me, how it triggers the crying jag. I do know that crying brings out the endorphins. So bring it on!  No, really. It is all good, it's fine, I am enjoying my self-pity in my pitiful way.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 25th, 2004 08:28 pm (UTC)
I'm exactly where you are in my life right now. I'm totally in a mild depression--and its frustrating because I want to get out but I don't know how.
I also find music to be a huge release. I listen to Tchaikovsky's 6th symphony when I want to cry, andjust like you said, its a good thing. I always feel exactly like you do--ready to just get it all out.
I hope you get better.
Sep. 26th, 2004 06:03 am (UTC)
Yes, I'd say that's a good choice in music! SO many romantic pieces - and I am not ashamed that I love them, love them, particularly the piano concerti. Oh yeah, and the violin concerti. They can really do the job.

I do know I will get over this. Just posting that was a help. A way of sharing. And I talked to my daughter about it and she said it was the same for her, that sometimes it is good to be sad.

My ability to indulge in self-pity is a really great skill, by the way.
Sep. 26th, 2004 08:49 am (UTC)
I hope you're feeling better today, Judith!
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


Judith Lautner
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