Last night I reread some entries from a notebook journal I keep on an erratic basis. I remembered that I was using a writing "trigger". This one: write my biography from different angles. I wrote short pieces based on my life in photography, cooking, being fat (I keep thinking this is the central theme in my life, yet I have not been able to find the way through it), going to school, my early years.
I had copied a quotation from Deena Metzger: Creativity and self-knowledge - one informs the other. I don't think it's a great quotation from the standpoint of how it is worded (I dislike the use of "inform" in this way, for example) but I wanted to remember it.
As I write this I come back to that "fat" theme. That's what I know about. It's important. I did a rapid "bubbling" (can't think of the right term) on "weight", on the back of a large piece of wrapping paper, taped to the door where I can see it from here. I did this some time ago, several months. I put "weight" in a circle in the center and branched off that, coming up with many different approaches to the subject. I had hoped that the "right" approach would come to me through this method, as it has for others.
Now that I have this assignment I am going to look at this graphic again and see if it leads me somewhere. AT least - what is stopping me? What is keeping me from using it?