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Sacrifice mode

When we deprive ourselves of something we want, we are likely to enter a sacrifice mode. We feel holy, in a way, "good", "deserving". Others could learn from us, we may think.

There is a healthier way to look at sacrifice, yet even that, it seems to me, misses the real point. Always it's a matter of balance.

When people diet, they tend to think of themselves as good or bad, depending on how well they are doing. When we carefully control our money, telling ourselves that if we pass by the latte we will have more for retirement later (or for emergencies, or education, or whatever), this is good reasoning. What, though, about the day to day of it? What about the experience of sitting in the coffee place, reading, watching people?

I don't like to deprive myself of such pleasures right now. Perhaps I am not "disciplined" enough? No, I don't see it that way. Taking in my surroundings, listening in on others, these things feed me as much as any food does. I can find other ways to meet this need that don't cost as much as a latte, of course. Straight coffee with some milk in it. Tea. I could even find parks where people congregate, or little passage ways, outdoor areas, and not spend any money. Even bring my own drink.

This last would meet my goal of not spending any money on such frivolous things. In some cases it would trigger a sense of obligation, however. If I sit outside Starbucks, using their chairs, sitting on private property that is paid for by these businesses, I feel I should be buying something, even a small something. I know they will not go broke if I do not, but it does seem the right thing to do.

I think we owe it to ourselves to bring pleasure into our lives every day, not simply plan for some day in the future. Yeah, stop and smell the roses, that's it...oh shit, if this goes on I'll soon be posting little warm thoughts, inspirational, and forwarding them to friends, and creating little slide shows with pictures of waterfalls and sunsets, appended to words of wisdom.

It seems so ridiculous when I post these obvious things, yet I do it anyway.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 7th, 2003 03:40 pm (UTC)
Think about a little family of little fluffy vegetarian bunnies all hugging each other, looking at the sunset, hearing the sound of a waterfall and smelling roses, and sharing their feelings with each other and .......

Seriouslllly - you have a word 'sacrifice' for one thing, what is a word for the opposite? I don't know. Didn't we discuss this in terms of not weight 'loss', but weight 'shedding' .Was it you? You know what a slut I am.

But I do know what you mean. Me, I am utterly irresponsible in that respect. I trust to luck and the universe and my charm and like you said I 'land on my feet' - actually that aint good enough, now I want more. Sorry ... that's me not you.

I think your switch from diet to money is very, very significant. 'Right now, I want to eat this, but I know it's not good for me '. Yes, there is an analogy with money, but that misses so much difference. Nowt more to say. Do you want the Freidan book? It going to someone I care for matters more than haggling on e-bay or whatever. And that is because I will feel good - utterly selfish.
Sep. 7th, 2003 05:04 pm (UTC)
Stop! Stop!! The bunnies are running over me, crapping on my head...

I don't know what the opposite is, either, except "indulgence". Yeah, that's pretty close. Self-indulgence.

It seems like many of us have confused normal living with being self-indulgent. Feeling guilty about eating normally, or by just having something we actually want.

No, I didn't use the word "shedding". Don't know if a word change matters.

Yes, want the book. I looked up other copies on ebay and they didn't have high prices, even first editions. I guess books aren't valued the way they used to be, what? There was even one signed by Friedan, going for about $25. I wonder if it's as much a matter of "trendiness" as anything else, because the women's movement has moved beyond the kitchen, as it was expected to do.

I dunno what the significance is, of confusing food and money. I was going to write about both but then money took precedence because I was thinking about some things a relative said about her "simple living" life. Both are problems for me.

Lord! I am so distracted! I am not making sense. Or maybe I am?
Sep. 9th, 2003 10:17 am (UTC)
It's little things that mean a lot,
we pass them every day.
Those things which make us know for sure
God's never far away
For in the darkness and and the dread
we see them when it's time for bed
yet weep our way through many a day
because we think they've gone away.

A Friend of God

Peace be with you
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


Judith Lautner
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