Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner

the soundtrack of my travels

This time, I started out on my trip feeling somewhat down. After I turned on the Brandenburg concerti my mood began to lift. It is almost impossible to listen to this music and not be affected. Then I put in Rachmaninov's piano concerti 2 & 4. I remembered that, a few years ago, I was corresponding with a man in England, and he said to me that he doubted I would ever love him as much as I love music.

That may have been so, may in fact still be so. Music is constant, reliable, does not change its mind or look for others more worthy of its company. I can trust it to be there, to do for me what it has always done. It doesn't expect me to come up or down to its fantasies, it isn't disappointed when I am not what it imagined me to be. It's difficult, I think, to compete with that kind of constancy.

One could quibble. One could say a piece of music will not keep you warm at night, will not listen to you, will not sense when you need it (or will it??). It will ignore you, always. What does this say about me?

So now I'm laughing. I think I can be the worst kind of romantic at times.

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