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the soundtrack of my travels

This time, I started out on my trip feeling somewhat down. After I turned on the Brandenburg concerti my mood began to lift. It is almost impossible to listen to this music and not be affected. Then I put in Rachmaninov's piano concerti 2 & 4. I remembered that, a few years ago, I was corresponding with a man in England, and he said to me that he doubted I would ever love him as much as I love music.

That may have been so, may in fact still be so. Music is constant, reliable, does not change its mind or look for others more worthy of its company. I can trust it to be there, to do for me what it has always done. It doesn't expect me to come up or down to its fantasies, it isn't disappointed when I am not what it imagined me to be. It's difficult, I think, to compete with that kind of constancy.

One could quibble. One could say a piece of music will not keep you warm at night, will not listen to you, will not sense when you need it (or will it??). It will ignore you, always. What does this say about me?

So now I'm laughing. I think I can be the worst kind of romantic at times.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 15th, 2003 07:55 pm (UTC)
And he was surprised?
Or upset? Odd sort of person you correspond with. Odd in the sense that he feels threatened by a genius who has been dead for at least 350 years.

We, more mutable mortals miss you, that is, myself and the guys. They are sitting on the hood of my truck, but it is nowhere near as clean as the hood of your car, and it is clearly a step down.

I think I am the better listener, and that they are better at keeping you warm. But we are all doing the best we can, and notice your absence.


Feb. 16th, 2003 09:26 am (UTC)
Re: And he was surprised?
Threatened, I think. And yes, he was one of the odder of my correspondents. I am betting his real-life self was very different from the one he offered to me, also.

what a nice note. I rather feel I needed it. Thank you.

I was untrue to the boys. My sister's cat has been on my lap this morning.
Feb. 16th, 2003 11:32 am (UTC)
Re: And he was surprised?
I am sure they feel you have an open relationship, and that whomsoever you are allowing into your lap is a sorry substitue for them. Well, Bullet feels that way , in any event. He just bestirred himself out of the bedroom and demanded food. I was beginning to be concerned, because I hadn't seen him all morning.

Going to a lunch at my sister's, and will probably see you when you get back. Hope the opera went well.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


Judith Lautner
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