Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner

  • Mood:

maybe the last one

Dear D,

I thought I was enough past it, over you, but I guess I'm not. I still harbor resentments. I may actually be "getting in touch with my anger" at last.

This morning I happened upon something you wrote on your SF website about RW. You thanked the cast and Jim and crew and so on and also Dawn, for staying by you. I realized then that you had never thanked me publicly for anything, that I can remember. You never acknowledged publicly that we were a couple. I was there but I wasn't there. It was at your convenience.

It hurt me terribly to read your thanks to Dawn. Why? Why does it still hurt? It has been over a year now and I have met several men - nobody is in my life now, none went past a few emails or one meeting - I am ready to meet others, yet you can still hurt me in your absence.

I very much need to get past this.

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