I feel I can start to expand that diet a bit now. Dr. L. clipped out what remained of the tissue that was sewn over the bone from the roof of my mouth, because it was hanging literally by not much more than a thread. I told him I was worried that I might eat it in the middle of the night. He said that was a frightening thought. I said I had undoubtedly eaten a lot of the stitches, and he replied yes, but that conceptually eating something foreign like suture thread is different from eating a part of yourself. Auto-canibalism, he said. We both laughed at this.
I think one of the things I like about him is that we have these odd conversations. He's intelligent and so am I and I think we both enjoy thinking and observing in ways that are not common.
All is not necessarily well but it is also not necessarily bleak and horrible. New tissue has grown over about half of the new bone, a much better situation than a few weeks ago. Dr. L says let's watch to see if it develops more toughness by being exposed in my mouth and see if it continues to grow on its own. I'll go back Friday to see how it's doing. Then he'll decide if he needs to remove some of the bone, bring the amount down, so the tissue can cover it more easily.
Everything is clean and healing and I'm keeping it clean, so nothing except this tissue growth is an issue right now. It hurts in a nagging sort of way, not too awful, rather like a typical soreness from a more typical tooth operation, like maybe pulling a tooth. The roof of my mouth has healed a lot - no more blood blisters up there - but still feels burned. I am guessing maybe a day or so and that will lessen a lot. Right now I am enjoying the first time in over a month without any stitches in my mouth.
I figure I'll go to the court with Mary but wait outside in case she needs me to say something. Up to her. Maybe I'll go inside with her, considering Joey is not with us now. I can tell she's fretting about having Joey, about this whole thing. The boy is lucky to have two parents who love him so much, but it's hard on Mary nevertheless. I think it's confusing for Joey, and it's a good thing he's such a flexible little guy, able to roll with whatever plans there are for him.
Too many things are rollling around in my head. I tried to sleep for hours. Probably I did sleep, but I don't remember it. I worry about things to finish for work, where I put the disk with the info on it, other stuff. I sometimes think about having sleeping pills for times like this but wonder if I would become accustomed too easily.