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panic rises

Not really. It's a familiar feeling. Worry about unresolved issues, worry about whether things will get out of hand, go astray somehow. I am working off and on, inside and out, trying to neaten up the joint. Enough to make it not actually acceptable but relatively, acceptable to some who know me. Elsa is going to stop by on Saturday and Monday to check on the cats, sit and wait with them a bit, say hi, pet them, let them know they are not abandoned. I wonder why I still have no friends around that I can ask for this sort of help. I thought of asking Lynn, because she lives right next door, yet I have not. Why? we are talking now but still it is new to us.

Panic, though, made me think of why so many people go on various medications. I realize my mind is stuck in this gear some of the time, but it's my journal.

People get nervous and agitated for many reasons, like moving or changing jobs, and now many of these people go to a doctor and want drugs. Then, when the crisis is passed they say they don't want to rock the boat, there is some other thing coming up, they aren't sure they can get along okay without the drug.

In time, it looks to me, they have developed a psychological as well as a probable-physical dependence. They don't know what they can do on their own. It was this feeling that made me stop taking drugs when I was on them, the feeling that I couldn't tell what was me and what was the drug. Yet many people don't push it, don't want to find out. What surprises me is that doctors will accept this reasoning, this "need" for drugs. "I'm getting a promotion and I'm nervous". "I'm going through a divorce". We used to get through these times, often stronger. But now we think, why should I work it out, why should I work through it when I can just drug it?

Ten percent of Americans are on antidepressants. This is just crazy.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 27th, 2002 09:05 am (UTC)
I often envy animals as although they suffer when things go wrong they don't spend time in between worrying about what may happen. Our consciousness is a mixed blessing.
Sep. 28th, 2002 09:06 am (UTC)
Meds, Meds and Med Harms.....
I agree with ALL of this and we've imported it. Its interesting that you had the thought 'what is ME and what is 'the drug' that's a vital questiion. I figured early on that me on meds was a state of mind I could think myself into now I'd learned it.... way back in my twenties ... so I gave them up and did just that - with some withdraels - the worst being a toxic psychosis which was interesting and may or may not pop up or get a mention in my biog. Can't remember , there were so many versions and rewrite. I only use two meds now and one is powerfully addictive nitrazepam which I take less and less, preferring to keep odd hours and drop from sheer fatigue. By now it isn't treating insomnia its maintaining addiction. The other is a very old Mono-Amine-Oxidise Inhibitor. This is only the second time I've been on it in 30 years and I requested it when my 'year in the room' had become too prolonged. Had trouble getting it because they were pushing Prozac and Prozac derivatives. BAD NEWS! Now I'm forgetting to take it - after 7 months which tells me it's time I stopped. But it kick-started me into action.

I would place analysis over meds any day but its not much available over here. Realy not at all unless you go Privately then it can cost £50 a session. You'd expect to have 2 to 5 sessions a week and that turns into serious money. And then there arte lots of 'counsellors' who have done a year of evening classes and are most often truly messed up themselves anyway.....yep it's a jungle out there.! (Smiles at own rant) I'm very interested in your delving into this subject. It needs someone to THINK. But hasn't itbeen taken up - the use of meds for 'everyday unhappiness' to keep the fallacy/fantasy of The American Dream alive?
And re 'anything is a good occasion to take a pill' - new job unhappy marriage, grief, isn't this (gasp) just proof of a lack of any moral or ethical position which would teach - you make changes you suffer consequences. An analyst I know thinks we are sufering from a post sixties anima ridden libertarian postion adopted in the sixties. Enough! For now......
Sep. 28th, 2002 09:10 am (UTC)
I hope the typos don't hold you up from understanding. Sorry I should spellcheck - ahh but I don't :-(
Sep. 28th, 2002 01:07 pm (UTC)
I think, in your previous post on this subject, that you have hit a lot of the key reasons people go for medication rather than "talk therapy". As expensive as these drugs are, and when prescribed virtually for life, they can cost a great deal more than talk therapy. But it does not look like the professionals (docs) or insurers do the math on the basis of individual clients. They ram people through and they can point to large numbers at an average low cost, whereas if they took the time to talk to folks, they'd be treating fewer of them at a higher average cost. The fact that most of these folks would not come back seems to escape the notice of the insurance companies. In other words, the insurers are paying a lot more than they need to but they don't know it.

The more I read the more concerned I become. I am no conspiracy theorist and I won't call this a conspiracy, but I will say the drug companies have the means and use them to spin the info that gets out to the public. They buy the research, they buy the symposia, they buy individual doctors and the articles they write for medical journals, they buy the insurance companies (by cutting deals on med costs), they even buy individual people who have been injured by their products.

What amazes me is that some of these "side effects" are so dangerous that there is no question that they can't be kept under wraps indefinitely. For example, pregnant women on prozac tend to give birth to babies with three "minor" developmental problems: low birth weight, nerve damage that shows up when the child is older, and some other thing I can't remember. How many babies are going to be born with these things before mothers start comparing notes? I think it's a gamble. And of course the strange personality changes that sometimes lead to suicide or homocide. But because nobody can say that Prozac is the SOLE cause of these problems, they can spin it and come out almost clean.

I'm rambling. I shouldn't do this in here because I am not taking the time to think it through.

I don't care about typos! I don't worry much about them in my own stuff. If I catch them before I send, great, but if not, well, not. I think we write quickly and then we're done and if we stop to do too much editing what kind of journal is it?

Oh, my email address: judith@judithlautner.net...I am not home so don't have your email address in front of me.

Sep. 28th, 2002 04:18 pm (UTC)
Re: Drugs
I didn't think you were rambling ~ but I do know that you can go deeper and see just how insidious the drug companies are. However I do think that the imposible reach for a happiness which is ever elusive and might be pathologised as depression or 'unspecific mood disorder' (hmmm I think I'll load on my piece about DSM) is known by the drug companies and the humblest of doctors to be untreatable....actualy its me who is rambling...at least in my head as I connect thre thoughts and as many possible arguments together.
But keep reading and looking at the statistics. Oh and I agree with you about therapy its been proved to be more effective but it is also more painful...in the short term. But I'm not thinking coherently so I'll do something remarkable. Sleep.
As ever
Sep. 30th, 2002 03:18 am (UTC)
Re:New Fiction on LJ
I am surprised by your ignorance concerning anti-depressants. You may be reading a book on medications, but do you believe everything that you read? Your insinuation that people who take these medications are using them for a crutch is ludicrous! I have tried to tell you that some people really do have chemical imbalances that require medication. Are you willing to live with me when I go off of these- and do you think that I'm avoiding my issues by taking them? I think you need to take a closer look at your opinions and facts on this issue! I work on my issues much better when I'm not out of control emotionally or curled up in a ball in bed all the time and being on anti-depressants affords me the opportunity to be a working member of society. Would you take that away from people like me? Please be careful of your accusations of others....
Oct. 2nd, 2002 06:40 pm (UTC)
chemical imbalances
Frankly Abby, you are the one who is uninformed, or more correctly, misinformed.

There is no evidence that depression is the result of a chemical imbalance. Researchers have been trying to prove this for over 50 years and they have not succeeded. Next time some doctor suggests this to you ask for the proof. You'll discover there isn't any. It's a THEORY. You are being misled

I haven't just read one book. I have read three, by three separate people who are in no way connected to each other, who have different points of view. One is a psychiatrist who is totally anti drugs of any kind, one is a medical journalist, one is a psychiatrist who thinks drugs can be used in concert with other means to improve situations. They all tell the same thing, though, about the effects of these drugs.

I bet you do NOT know how these drugs actually affect your brain. I bet you do not know what is supposed to be imbalanced. I bet you have never undergone any kind of physical test to determine the "imbalance". It's impossible because there is no such thing. This is not diabetes. And even those with diabetes do not all take insulin. Only 10% of diabetics need insulin.

Sometimes we do feel so overwhelmed that we need a drug that will dull the feelings (this is what these drugs do; they do not correct imbalances; they actually cause imbalances, which have wide-ranging side effects). I don't say you should not use them when you are way overwhelmed. BUt if you rely only on drugs you are making a huge mistake, making your life worse, not better. I strongly suggest that you do the reading yourself, and only read those books that have references you can check, so you can verify everything you need to.

The reason I am so upset is that so many people, including you, are likely worsening your condition and you don't even know it. Chances are your doctor doesn't know any better than you do, for that matter. I hate confrontation and this is one subject that is certainly bringing out a lot of it, but I am determined to keep reading until I understand as much as I can, as much as is known that I can comprehend. I think, instead of attacking me, you might do well to encourage me to keep reading.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


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