Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner

panic rises

Not really. It's a familiar feeling. Worry about unresolved issues, worry about whether things will get out of hand, go astray somehow. I am working off and on, inside and out, trying to neaten up the joint. Enough to make it not actually acceptable but relatively, acceptable to some who know me. Elsa is going to stop by on Saturday and Monday to check on the cats, sit and wait with them a bit, say hi, pet them, let them know they are not abandoned. I wonder why I still have no friends around that I can ask for this sort of help. I thought of asking Lynn, because she lives right next door, yet I have not. Why? we are talking now but still it is new to us.

Panic, though, made me think of why so many people go on various medications. I realize my mind is stuck in this gear some of the time, but it's my journal.

People get nervous and agitated for many reasons, like moving or changing jobs, and now many of these people go to a doctor and want drugs. Then, when the crisis is passed they say they don't want to rock the boat, there is some other thing coming up, they aren't sure they can get along okay without the drug.

In time, it looks to me, they have developed a psychological as well as a probable-physical dependence. They don't know what they can do on their own. It was this feeling that made me stop taking drugs when I was on them, the feeling that I couldn't tell what was me and what was the drug. Yet many people don't push it, don't want to find out. What surprises me is that doctors will accept this reasoning, this "need" for drugs. "I'm getting a promotion and I'm nervous". "I'm going through a divorce". We used to get through these times, often stronger. But now we think, why should I work it out, why should I work through it when I can just drug it?

Ten percent of Americans are on antidepressants. This is just crazy.

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