Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner
judith

control

It's all efforts to take and keep control, my life.

Going swimming. That was good, it was an effort to control my body and my emotions. My changing when I got home, that's control over my efforts here, an attempt to do something useful because I'm dressed for it. Perhaps haul the microwave cart to the sidewalk and put a sign on it, "Free". Empty the remaining trash. Efforts to exert control over this house. I'm looking at stray stacks of papers that need to be put where I can manage them better.

I have my diet power program going again, after a 29-day hiatus. Control of my eating.

It's all good. I'm getting it back.

I have resolved not to respond to any more personal ads for at least a week. I can look at profiles and "clip" some if they seem interesting, but I won't respond to any for a week. That way, if anyone I've already written to writes back I will be able to pay attention. And if anyone finds my profile and writes to me that would be even better, I think. I don't seem to be good at finding men who find me interesting or appealing.
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