Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner

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My life as a collection of wonderful moments

I spend a lot of time in here complaining, bitching, whining, and it may appear that I go through this world with a snarl on my face. But I don't.

The wind is blowing today and it feels wonderful. For lunch I went to Quizno's, had my usual veggie sandwich, no avo, no dressing, then on to Starbucks for a latte. I read at each step.

I am well into "My Life as a Man" by Philip Roth, and finding it more than a surprise. I am delighted by the twists it takes, the thoughtfulness, the edging on past the easy comedy it could have been. It is awakening thoughts in me, getting my brain in full gear and I am loving it.

When I stepped up to the counter, the genuinely friendly young man behind the Starbucks counter told me I look nice today. When my latte was ready, he grabbed it and brought it to me so I wouldn't have to rise up from my total immersion in my book. How nice this was.

I walked past the storefront windows to my car after, noticing my reflection. I haven't gotten over who I am now, the changes in my body. Long ago, when I was a teen, I loved the feel of fresh spring wind brushing against new clothes. I imagined myself different, was able to suspend reality just for a little while and think myself thin and beautiful and my image desirable. I kid you not, it's possible one could think this of me now. Aged beauty, to be sure, but what is really more beautiful?

Do I sound vain? If so, maybe it's about time.

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