Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner

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Cutting him out

Today I got a fairly drastic haircut for the third time in four months. In November my hair was down to near my waist and was highlighted. Today it is shoulder-length at best, colored a reddish brown, similar to my natural color and cut to emphasize the curl. BIG.

I feel that these cuts are a way of cutting Dwain out of my life. At this time we don't even have email correspondence but I still think of him. Not every day, though. Cutting my hair was symbolic, especially because he loved my long hair and never wanted me to cut it. The first cut was a bit tentative, as if I was saying, yes, I cut it but it will soon grow back to where it was. Now I am saying it will take a long time. More and more distance, more and more time.

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