Over the weekend I got to thinking about fears again. It is fears that hold us, keep us from getting where we may want to go. We are always facing fears in therapy.

I realized that the fear this time is of rejection, abandonment. I want to face this. To face it, I have to risk abandonment or rejection and be okay with the result. Be ready for the pain, not regret it.

I wrote to Dwain after seeing the play Saturday night, telling him I felt hurt about the things he had not told me. I had to remind myself that it does not matter if my feelings are legitimate or not. What matters is that I felt this way, and that I tell him how I felt.

He responded angrily, then followed that up with an apology. I was so glad! An angry response is so much more real than a considered, thoughtful response, or nothing at all. But I had to be ready for anything, worst of all ready for nothing. I felt that I was.