June 6th, 2007

Roman

work ethic

I mainly honor it in the breach.

I grew up feeling I was lazy and that whatever I did was not enough. For some reason I have always liked to work undetected, to have my work done before anyone could catch me at it. I did not like people giving me approving glances or in any way applauding my industriousness. Was this pride? That I did not like to be seen working? And yet did want my work to be noticed? Even the noticing, though, was suspect. I didn't want people to point out what I had done, yet I wanted them to know I had done it, to acknowledge that I'd made an effort.

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Roman

I feel better already

Today I asked Paul if he was up for some furniture moving. As always, he said yes. So we took the desk (three-legged older model), a garden tool carrier, steam cleaner, the tools, and some other odds and ends of largish size and hauled them to the storage building. This means there is only one thing left of any size that needs to go there: the television. And I want to wait on that until somewhat the last minute because I loves me my tv shows...

It is such a relief!! We did it all in less than an hour and I had been fretting and worrying about it for weeks! Paul is really terrific in this way. KNows how to do it and has the strength to do it.  And is pretty much always available.

Now this move seems ever so possible. And I don't know why I should get panicky at all.