March 16th, 2006


Swim virtue

I'm feeling virtuous today because I got my swim in early this morning.

And that, of course, is silly, the virtue part. I don't like it when people say they've "been good" because they ate a healthy meal or did some exercise. I don't believe there is a real correlation between "being good" and "being healthy". They are so very different. Someone said - I should look it up - that the bulk of the world's business is done by "men who don't feel very well". Of course that could be updated now to say "people who don't feel very well". But the point is that the people who get it done are often people beset by pain and physical limitations yet they are pursued by demons or angels, depending on how they feel to them, who force them to keep at it.

Also, I know people who spend so much time on their physical selves that they don't really have time for anyone or anything else that matters. People who are in great shape, in other words, but that's all. To me that's a big SO WHAT. That isn't virtuous. And my former lover spends time in the gym to make himself more attractive to females. Well, sure, he's attractive, but again...SO WHAT? It sure isn't enough. If I swam to make myself attractive to men I would have given up quite a while ago. There is something about me that just isn't all that attractive to men, and being as fit as a persom my age with my history can be is not going to change that. What is going to attract the kind of man I'd like in my life is not going to be my hair or my lovely nipples (yes, that's been a turn-on to some) or even my eyes, but instead the depths inside me. There is no getting to the end of them. I like that about me, and that's what I'd want in any man I'd love as well.

Still, I feel virtuous. My day looms fresh in front of me, full of promise. I have places to go and people to meet e're the day is out.