Judith's thought-provoking soul-searching journal

I've slept well for the last three nights. In spite of feeling stressed, eating at night, not getting done what I plan. Sometimes I think I just have to get tired enough but that isn't it either.

Again I am listening to Leonard Cohen's Dear Heather and I can't get enough of it. Especially "Because of", "The Letters", "There for You", "The Faith". The rest I like also but not quite as much. These particular ones are so close, so intimate, that I feel like I am swallowing this enigmatic elderly man whole when I hear them. It is nourishing for my whole body.

If you'd like to hear one - "Because of" - and read ALL of the words! - go to http://www.dearheather.com. I probably posted that  before.

I suspect that there isn't any such thing as a big pleasure. A big pleasure is what we make of little ones.

Today I ventured outside for the first time this weekend. I had breakfast with jblindsight, on a beautiful morning, in a nice restaurant, and ours was a good conversation. Later, having tasted a hint of the social, I felt the urge to find another cup of coffee in a room full of people. I went to the Nautical Bean but found it closed. So I went to Borders, intending to have a cappuccino in the cafe.

I got stopped at the entrance, was lured in by the art kits, picked out three different kits, two for Joey and one for me, then of course I had to look at the books. And here is where another pleasure lurked.

Rats, by Robert Sullivan. I vaguely remember reading of this book some time ago but I have forgotten where and I didn't have it on any list. It is about the rats of New York City, and by extension the cities of the world, as observed by this one man. The cover is a drawing of manhattan with the streets in the middle colored in in the shape of a long rat. A terrific cover and what a book! He writes of rats as a nature observer, with a touch of humor and font of knowledge. He spent four seasons in dirty alleys at night, observing, and must have spent days reading. And what results is not your everyday nature book.

Just a hint:

A rat phenomenon that is based only partly on fact is the Rat King, a kind of rat often mentioned in stories about rats. The Rat King is usually described as the rat that leads other rats when rats amass and herd. Policemen on late night patrols sometimes report seeing a Rat King lead a group of rats across a street. Drunks frequently report Rat King sightings. It is true that from time to time rats run in huge packs. I have seen them do so. Likewise, it is true that within a rat colony a dominant male emerges. However, it is not the case that one rat leads the others. Something that has inspired the notion of a mythical Rat King is the actual phenomenon of rats whose tails have become knotted togehter with other rats' tails in their nest. The resulting entaglement is called a Rat King. There have been Rat Kings ranging in size from three rats to thirty-two rats. Sometimes the rats die, sometimes they are fed by the other rats and stay alive for a time in the nest. In myths and stories about marauding rats and secret rat leagues, the Rat King sometimes sits in the center of tied-up raths' tails, the lesser rats his throne. But again, these are rat stories. An actual Rat King is really nothing more than a rat that takes advantage of his natural strengths and of other rats' natural weaknesses. A Rat King is just a big rat

.

I can't help liking this. The pleasure I get from reading this book is in part from its being such an unexpected find.

While I was out running errands today I thought about my sims. And it occurred to me that maybe I can make a sim really fat. So when I got home I created a new pair of roomies, one with low fitness tendencies, and I have been feeding that one like crazy. I wonder if she'll ever get past the simple big-butt stage to being really fat. I have noticed that the male sims chub up faster and more naturally. Interesting. I have to admit that I felt a little guilty doing this to the poor sim.