March 29th, 2005

Roman

(no subject)

I am in Paso Robles, a bit early for my appointment with "my accountant". I am in a coffee place about a block from the office. It's the second nice old-timey coffee house I have found in PR. Stuffed chairs, games, bookshelves with volumes spilling every which way, paintings on the walls, even fake tiffany lamps. People at a table near me are playing chess,and a couple of kids are playing checkers on a large "board" that is actually a cloth, with large checkers.

My cappuccino had bad foam. I asked for a bagel, toasted, no cream cheese, and she gave me the cream cheese anyway. It looks like I can refill my cup with regular coffee, though, a plus.

I've written a few words in my novel. I am planning to round out the work by amplilfying on the two meetings my protaganist had with her two lovers, two primary lovers. I am deeply dissatisfied with their dull meetings and want more.
Roman

Mike

My brother is not doing well. At the hospital today, my sister Mary learned that the hospital staff is not hopeful for his recovery. They want to talk to the family about hospice care for what time he has remaining.

None of us saw this coming, even though we did hear about how weak he was frequently. He is so weak he doesn't even have the muscles in his throat to cough. He is constantly fighting infections, has a fungus in his blood, numerous infections that numerous antibiotics have not been able to conquer.

I haven't really taken it in. I intend to drive up on Thursday morning so I can be at the meeting, the next meeting, which is at one that afternoon, at the hospital. I don't know what this means except that we have very little time left with Mike.
Roman

(no subject)

My head is swimming with all that Mike's dying will mean. Questions, thoughts, bits of sadness. I am thinking ahead - Mike's income will cease. His house may have to be sold because there won't be any income to make the payments. I don't remember what's in his will and what options I will have to carry it out.

I suppose it is easier to think ahead like this than to think of the immediate future, seeing Mike now. Trying to find a way to say goodby. I don't know how to do it. What would I want in his place?