hope
There is some hope for this novel. I still don't know that it will be worth going back over and editing to death later, but it does have direction and a kind of theme that I like. I feel a great deal of relief that at least it is giving me chances to explore some of my obsessions. Natalie Goldberg, in Writing Down the Bones, says if you have serious obsessions give them their time, don't quash them, or they will take over everything you do. It may be that this is all I am doing right now, giving them head. But as a part of that I am getting an occasional chance to write feelings that are real and raw. Right now there is precious little of this, which is why I have felt such frustration, but I have hope. There are some opportunities in front of me.
I am glad that I have recorded this noveling journey so far. I will be able to go back the next time I take the plunge and say to myself, "see how impossible it seemed then?" I am sure I will finish by the end of the month. I will walk in to see my therapist, who is excited that I am doing this, and say, "It is done! It is awful but in some places there is a hint of gold." That will be enough.
Right now...a bit over 18,000 words. My goal for today is 19,550.
I am glad that I have recorded this noveling journey so far. I will be able to go back the next time I take the plunge and say to myself, "see how impossible it seemed then?" I am sure I will finish by the end of the month. I will walk in to see my therapist, who is excited that I am doing this, and say, "It is done! It is awful but in some places there is a hint of gold." That will be enough.
Right now...a bit over 18,000 words. My goal for today is 19,550.