July 30th, 2002

Roman

ten more

I swam ten lengths again today. When I got to the gym I saw so few cars in the lot that I thought I would not have any trouble getting a lane. But I did. Apparently most of those cars were swimmers'. Or so it seemed. There was one person in each lane and usually a lane can hold two, but most of the swimmers were swimming "wide". I went into the last one and asked the woman in it if I could share and she said she'd rather I didn't. She suggested I wait until one of the other swimmers got out, five or ten minutes by her estimate. My lunch hour was ticking away.

I went into a lane a few down from hers and asked the guy there and he said sure. He was the only one in the group who was a good swimmer, and we didn't have any trouble sharing for the short time I was in there. Then someone left a lane and I grabbed that one.

My arms don't feel it this time. Same number of lengths, resting in between, as last week. Interesting. Maybe my form is improving a little, and maybe the little time I spent with weights during the week helped too. Now I want to dig out the coaching book on swimming I have. A book, yes. Better than nothing. I want help with breathing mainly right now.
Roman

control

It's all efforts to take and keep control, my life.

Going swimming. That was good, it was an effort to control my body and my emotions. My changing when I got home, that's control over my efforts here, an attempt to do something useful because I'm dressed for it. Perhaps haul the microwave cart to the sidewalk and put a sign on it, "Free". Empty the remaining trash. Efforts to exert control over this house. I'm looking at stray stacks of papers that need to be put where I can manage them better.

I have my diet power program going again, after a 29-day hiatus. Control of my eating.

It's all good. I'm getting it back.

I have resolved not to respond to any more personal ads for at least a week. I can look at profiles and "clip" some if they seem interesting, but I won't respond to any for a week. That way, if anyone I've already written to writes back I will be able to pay attention. And if anyone finds my profile and writes to me that would be even better, I think. I don't seem to be good at finding men who find me interesting or appealing.
Roman

(no subject)

Got the trash out, put the chair on the sidewalk. I didn't feel like taking a nap. Could be a turning point. Now I'm going to do the upper bod workout with Kathy. Anyone can get together 20 minutes, I tell myself. And heaven knows, I really do have a lot of time that I am wasting.
Roman

(no subject)

I am watching a movie I bought on sale at the video store. It's called Bad Behaviour, is a British film starring Stephen Rea. And he plays, of all things, a planner.