May 18th, 2002

Roman

ruminating

I have been fretting about the parts of the music that I don't do well. I could cram now, in the few remaining hours. Chances are it wouldn't matter, I would lose it on the stage anyway. Also, I know that these parts are a small part of the whole. I shouldn't be focusing on them.

I am discouraged that so many people I know have got this or that reason or excuse for not going to the concert. I think in the future I will offer free tickets. I don't mind paying. I also wonder where I could find out about people I don't know who would love to go but can't afford it.
Roman

visitors

Another set of visitors TO MY HOUSE today. Freaky, I call it. Jay & Hannah came by to give me Jay's new book and spend a few minutes chatting. I was able to let them in without fear. My house is not what I'd call really clean and uncluttered but it is much more acceptable than it was not that long ago. I continue to plug away at it and feel okay about welcoming friends in here. I'd like to have some new furniture in the living room and that too will come. I also have the long-range goal of moving my "office" to the back bedroom. I have the plan and I believe I can actually follow through on it.

Concert in less than two hours. We're due at 7:30 to warm up and run over final little things. I am feeling better about doing this, about getting through it, taking it for what it is, an opportunity to sing a wonderful work, and I am thinking less of those who will be missing it.
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