March 23rd, 2002

Roman

A headache and worse

I had a mild headache in the left side of my head most of the night. Sleep was not deep, I woke up often. I hope I am rested. I took some Excedrin migraine.

I just got an e-mail from Dwain saying Dawn wants him to break off all communication with me. She can't stand it. So he's doing it. I am sure it was a hard e-mail for him to write. I still feel like the victim in this thing but of course in love...all's fair...just doesn't seem like it.

I wrote back saying I understand, that our friendship certainly does go beyond fucking, but I understand, and that was that. The end. I can imagine this will be a difficult weekend as I absorb not ever hearing from him again, not ever having that outlet to write to. I am crying now, hope I won't be crying all day.
  • Current Music
    Chopin's funeral march
Roman

Stenner Creek Road

My pedometer says I took 8640 steps today. Maybe that's right. I did a walk along a dirt road that parallels Stenner Creek, just north of SLO. It was an easy walk, four miles round trip, that overlooks the creek and then rises a bit (about 200 feet), allowing views of the hillsides, even peeks at some of the morros. Quiet, just the sound of my feet and the rare car passing by, and the birds. I needed it, I think, the meditative time in that environment.

I am not happy. I admit that. But I'm dealing. I spent too much time thinking of Dwain and Dawn. But that's today.