December 18th, 2001



I just read an article about a church on Fifth Avenue in New York that allows homeless people to sleep on the grounds outside the church. The church maintains a ten-bed shelter, and the outside people are overflow. The police have begun to force them off the property but it is not clear what laws are being broken.

The number of homeless has gone up dramatically, too.

Certainly there are worse things than what I go through. I sometimes think - there goes a homeless person whose debts are smaller than mine - but that doesn't mean I want to trade places.

Another insight

I have been writing to Dwain about my wanting to fight him. In the course of explaining my thoughts I realized something: fighting for someone is not necessarily an indication of love. In other words, if he had fought to keep me that wouldn't necessarily have meant that he loved me. Another illusion shattered!


My bones ache. It feels like sickness more than tiredness or overwork. The ache is in my upper back and neck, where cold symptoms often settle in.