December 1st, 2001

Roman

much better

The concert last night went much better than I expected - probably than anyone in the choir expected. I feel such relief. I hated the idea of losing fans, frankly. There were some people in the audience that I know but I did not stop to talk to them after. They were not close friends. I didn't see Dwain there - don't expect to see him tonight either.

I am up so early! I want to do stuff today, but I could have slept in a little. I'd like to steam-clean the living room carpet, for one. Go to Farmers Market. Check out Goodwill for Christmas items. And go over a few parts of the music.
Roman

doubts

There is something I slip into. I doubt that others really care about me and then I get resentful and even pouty, in a way. It's really an ugly side of me. How do I stop it?
Roman

San Miguel

Concert went well again. (not the best we've ever done but the music itself can make up for a lot of mistakes) I didn't feel like I did quite as well myself but I did have some of those moments when I was immersed, a part of the music, moments that I live for. Pat and Art said they loved it and so did Carolyn. Her friend is interested in joining the chorale. Dwain was not there - or if he was he did not find me after. I don't think he was. And I didn't expect him to be.

We car-pooled - Phyllis & Dorothy came along on the way up, and Scott joined us on the way down, so it was a full load. I felt good about having a car that I wasn't ashamed of, and there was a continual conversation going so nobody was complaining about how I drive. My least fave trek is comign down the grade in the rain in the dark, and I got to do that tonight. Coulda been worse, coulda had more traffic.