It seems like it is getting harder rather than easier.
Well, at least I seem to be losing weight now. 194 pounds today. I expect that to jump up in the next couple of days but the trend is down.
Keeping it at bay. I don't seem to be doing such a terrific job of that. I talked to Carolyn about it today and she said that when she was in this position she usually took Nyquil so she could sleep. I think it may not be a bad idea.
One of the two stories I entered in the Nightwriters contest "made it to the second of three tiers" of judging. The other one made it to the finals. According to the list they enclosed, I came in 12th with Dining on Dreams. Funny. I thought the other story was better. I wonder if this means I'll earn an honorable mention. Couldn't tell from the letter.
It was Kathy Smith, then some work on the music, then off to rehearsal, long rehearsal, not particularly gratifying. I don't feel the confidence I like to feel by this time. I wish Tom hadn't used the piano so much tonight, too. We won't get away from it that way.
I think that I approach this love thing as I approach so much else in my life. I work at it, try to get good at it, try to be very good at it. Like it's a class. That's why I figure I would be good at an arranged marriage. But does this mean I am bad at other types of relationships? That - more likely - I try when I shouldn't? I didn't try so much with Roy, although at the same time I didn't face things squarely either. I avoid conflict. I want discussion, am happy with discussion, but I fear conflict that could lead to something permanently changing for the worst, to the end.