Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner
judith

fighting

There was a lot of fighting in my childhood. Accusations made behind my back as well as direct fighting. My sister Mary loved to get the last word, so I learned that an argument never ended unless I somehow let her have that. I didn't want it to go on forever.

One time I became so upset that I hit my sister Karol in the stomach. I remember the other family members being very upset but not confronting me directly. I knew I should apologize but I couldn't. Is that why I avoid conflict? Because I don't want to apologize? I don't think so, at least I know I can apologize now. I do that rather well, even. So what is it?

I wrote a review of Vanilla Sky to Elaine last night - not the same as the one in this journal but somewhat similar - and then got to thinking what if Elaine is bothered by it, what if she doesn't agree? I worried that she would be upset with me. That's so silly! We can have differences of opinion without it meaning the end is near! Why do I think a disagreement means this?
Subscribe

  • The Jerry Bruckheimer Effect

    I suppose it is the curse of anyone who is musical to be unable to ignore music. I am plagued by the piped in music in stores and I choke when I hear…

  • Adventures Downtown

    Yesterday I went downtown three times. The first time I passed by the pasty place and decided to stop and get one. The second time was to pick up a…

  • (no subject)

    NetworkedBlogs Blog: Judith's Topics: Personal, Mental Illness, Animal Rights Follow my blog

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 0 comments