Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner


I got to thinking tonight about the man I want to meet. I want a man who will do the little things with me, who will go out with me, go shopping, relax, sit with me, watch a video, go to a movie...I started to visualize this. I missed this in Dwain, so what I really want is a Dwain who will do these things. I imagined other men, men I have known - or similar to men I have known - who would be more than willing to be there with me, would practically move in the first day. I don't want that! So I am stuck here, wondering. I want a Dwain who does these things, yet Dwain doesn't do these things. Is it an impossibility? I mean, do I want what I cannot have? Is that the thing? For example, if Dwain didn't like dance (watching it, not doing it) would I want him to like it? That's not a good example.

I think I need to be able to visualize this person. It has to make sense. It doesn't yet.

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