I am going to have dinner with my veg group tonight. It wasn't too long ago when I looked forward to these gatherings, but now I don't, most of the time. I have been thinking, wondering, why the change. I think I have a couple of answers:

1. friends. I don't feel a real closeness with anybody else in the group. I think I would look forward to the time if I were there with somebody I really enjoy.

2. responsibility. I feel like I have abdicated responsibility for a lot of things in this group. I just don't feel like stepping up sometimes. Much of the time.

In some ways I have become more reclusive. Yet I go to the gym and join water exercise classes and sit in the hot tub afterwards, in part so I can get to know the other class members. And I go to sewing classes on Tuesdays and enjoy the company of the other class members there. I think the key here is responsibility. I don't have leadership roles in these places.