Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner

  • Mood:

the next day

Last night I took some drugs - acetaminophen pm - to make sure I slept through the night. And it worked. I woke, looked at the door to my bedroom, which was open. I have opened the doors that I closed to Bullet during his last illness.

I am getting rid of all evidence of that illness. Not of Bullet but of those awful days and weeks. I am cleaning spots in the rug and splashes of saliva and blood on the walls. Looking at these remnants reminds me too much of how it was for him.

I am taking this very hard, perhaps harder than I have the deaths of other animals. I don't know why, except that it was so drawn-out. And because Bullet was smelly and matted at the end and hard to hug.

In the midst of my tears, though, I feel like a weight has shifted and I can do better now for myself.
Tags: animals, cats

  • The Jerry Bruckheimer Effect

    I suppose it is the curse of anyone who is musical to be unable to ignore music. I am plagued by the piped in music in stores and I choke when I hear…

  • Adventures Downtown

    Yesterday I went downtown three times. The first time I passed by the pasty place and decided to stop and get one. The second time was to pick up a…

  • (no subject)

    NetworkedBlogs Blog: Judith's Topics: Personal, Mental Illness, Animal Rights Follow my blog

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded