Judith Lautner (judith) wrote,
Judith Lautner

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Getting to goodby

From Cats

I took this picture about ten days ago, of Toonces grooming Bullet. Bullet can't do much grooming any more, but he still tries sometimes. Instead he drools big fat threads of saliva, sometimes containing blood, particularly when I feed him. When I am not feeding him he is usually sleeping, curled in a ball in a favorite spot. When he sleeps he isnt' drooling but he lies down in the drool as he goes to sleep so half of his head is matted with it.

I know it's time. I even have the phrase: I am not doing him any favors by keeping him alive. But it is so damned hard to be the one who decides just when he is to die. I wake up each day hoping I will find that he has quietly slipped off during the night. I don't think that's going to happen now so I have to get it together enough to bring him in and say goodby forever.
Tags: animals, cats

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