Last night I went to sleep without any animals in the bed. This was a first, and I do not know why they did not at least start the night with me. I woke in the middle of the night and heard Floyd bark. Once. Then he was quiet. I called out but he did not come. I groggily thought about the thief who was in the house who was going to kill me. I thought, "This is how it ends," and imagined Elaine and Ed coming upon my bloody body in the bed...and the animals clambering for food...

Well, obviously I didn't think there really was a person in the apartment. I think if I had I would have slid off the bed, at least. My physical skills being almost nonexistent, I wouldn't consider attacking this person, but just hiding somehow.

I heard Floyd bark again, figured he had just heard someone outside, and fell back asleep. I had taken some tylenol pm last night, so sleep came easily.

This morning I got up, unmolested by animals (another first), and made my way into the kitchen. Where, on the floor, I saw the remains. Of a loaf of unsliced whole wheat bread I bought last night. Floyd was guarding it as his territory, and he had taken some goodly bites from it. I put it in the trash. Not long after that, Floyd led me to his little pile of poop. I guess the fiber worked a little too fast for his little system.



The Thief