Back in the old house, where I had stacked things horizontally as well as vertically - imagine a bookcase in front of another bookcase, for example, but not as simple as that, more like a ledge with magazines on it in front of a cupboard, for example, and there might even be a third level, something in front of the magazine ledge - if I wanted to do something, to clean something, rearrange, add, whatever, I had to back up several times.

For example, I might look at a wall and have a vision of a new bookcase on that wall. But to add the bookcase I would first have to move the plants, lamps, pile of magazines, strange little table, and a dozen other things that were in front of the wall. I would have to decide where to put these things. When I thought of a good place for each thing that meant I had to find a place for whatever it would be displacing. In the end, it meant I would have to rearrange the entire house to put in that one bookcase. Usually I just gave the idea up.

I have a similar thing happening now. My house isn't in as bad shape as the old one, of course, and it is not as cluttered. I have, however, let my office become something of a landing zone for whatever needs to be got out of the way. And my new cat addition, Peanut, hides in there. Peanut is afraid of the other two cats. With some good reason because they tend to attack him frequently. It's also part of his nature. He is the scaredest cat I have ever met.

As is often the case, the impetus to do something, to change something, comes from left field. In this case it has to do with arthritis. Here is how it lays out:

1. The arthritis in my knees (which has also spread to my hands, by the way) prevents me from doing several things I love to do. My goal is to reduce the pain so I can do more.
2. My weight aggravates the pain. It's funny that this seems obvious and that's what I thought when I saw yet another health study proclaiming that people who are heavier have a harder time with knee arthritis. It is obvious yet some people are going to be able to move freely even with extra weight. This because they are strong in the right places. Extra strength in certain muscles can compensate for joint weakness. I am working on those muscles now. But obviously, for me, losing some of that weight will make the whole enterprise easier.
3. I recently got a copy of McDougall's Maximum Weight Loss book. I have used McDougall in the past. His recommendation for everyone is to eat a whole-foods vegan diet, and he has reversed many diseases with this diet. Because Elaine and Ed awoke my past interest in McDougall I thought what the hell I'll get this book, and I did.
4. I lost the book. It is somewhere in my office, I am sure, because I would have dumped it there while cleaning some place else. But Peanut is hiding in there too and lately he has not used the litter box in the hall, but has instead used some parts of the office for his poops.
5. So for me to get my knees in better shape I have to clean poop from the office. Which, ironically, is on the floor and it's hard for me to clean things when I have to bend my knees. I'll work it out.

So there you have it. But of course it's a bit more complicated really. Because of Peanut's fears I have decided to get a baby gate for the office door and to put in a litter box and food dishes so he can hang there all day. The other cats can find and see him but can't touch him, if I do this. My hope is that eventually they will get enough used to each other that I can remove the gate and he can become a regular part of the family.

Peanut, the fat cat with the funny ears.

During my time in Los Angeles the last couple of days (I returned from a short trip yesterday; I leave again Thursday) I talked with my sister Karol. We tend to get along well, enjoy many of the same things on these trips (although I am more inclined to take it easier than she is). At one point we were reading email in our motel room and she mentioned that she belongs to an online group dedicated to counting calories, tracking what they eat. She said it works when she uses it, that lots of people use it successfully, that it's free. Clearly she was offering it as something I might like.

I couldn't help getting defensive. I know she was trying to be helpful but my reaction was to attack. I said that counting calories is the reason so many people get even fatter than they would otherwise be inclined to be. I said that calorie-restricted diets are the path to failure, not to success. She reiterated that it works when you log what you eat and many people are successful at it. I said it is something that never ends if that's the way you choose to do it, that very few people are in fact successful over the long haul, for 20 or 30 years. It becomes hard to hang in.

What I also tried to explain is that people like she is do not have weight problems and they do not have any real idea what it is like. I said it is like being an alcoholic, the type of urges we face. She said she knew this, she does understand, but I know she does not. I know she feels she would gain hugely if she didn't pay attention to what she eats but I know that in some major respect this is simply not true. It's true that if she indulged in nothing but high-fat, high-salt, high-sugar foods that of course she would gain weight and be unhealthy but she is not going to do that in any case.

I mentioned that fat alone is not unhealthy. Bad diets are - the wrong foods - and dieting is.

I tried to explain that what matters is that you eat whole foods and that you exercise. "Of course," she said, "that is what matters". I said yes, but counting calories is not. Portion control is not. Being hungry is not. She didn't get it and I was too defensive to say it better. I feel really frustrated that I was unable to get across the simple concepts that I know as well as I know my own body. But the concepts really aren't that simple when they are contrary to what we have been hearing and what we've come to believe all our lives.

I felt frustrated because I have read so much on this subject and have offered what I have learned to others but they do not want to hear it, do not want to believe me because it isn't what they hear elsewhere.

A similar situation. Karol asked if I wanted to use some germ-killing lotion. I said no. She said she uses it and it must be good because hospitals use it. I said hospitals have good reason to use it but we don't. We weaken our own immune systems by continually trying to kill germs. I should have added that we add to the problem of antibiotic-resistant bacteria, that we make bacteria harder to kill in the future.

There is so much "common knowledge" and "common wisdom" that is anything but. Yet I rail on alone, nearly a voice crying out in the wilderness. I admire those who have done the work to bring so much real information to light, in books, and I know that they are ridiculed even more than I am - for telling the truth. Yet they do reach others, far more than I do. I try to take what they have done and spread it farther and so far I am doing a lousy job.