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Today was Dorothy Day. When we talked on the phone earlier, Dorothy mentioned that the pain sometimes is so great that it is taking her to a different place. Not that she put it that way. She said she isn't emotional but she found herself crying. I could identify with that feeling, and it isn't all that uncommon for me.

I got to thinking. What would I be like if I were not "emotional"? Would I be who I am? Not really. Would I maybe be more organized? Would I get more done? I think that I would. Am I making excuses for myself? Of course I am.

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( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
attelage
Mar. 1st, 2006 03:34 pm (UTC)
Why is Dorothy in pain?

I like who you are. Your emotional side is endearing.
judith
Mar. 1st, 2006 06:47 pm (UTC)
Dorothy is recovering from knee replacement therapy, and has to do exercises every day, several times a day, and the pain is bad, excruciating. She has to teach her muscles to do things differently. The fact that she has lived with this bad knee for so many years means that her whole body has adjusted to other ways of getting around, and now the whole body has to adjust back again.

If I am lucky enough to get knee surgery I will have to go through something similar, so of course I am very interested in what she's going through.

I'm glad you like that side of me. It's a curse but it really is a huge part of me. Dorothy is unusual in that she rarely questions her actions, rarely suffers from the self-doubt that is so much of my life. I found this disconcerting when I first got to know her. It isn't that she blindly plows through life, of course, just that she has a remarkable persevering self-esteem.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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