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hope

There is some hope for this novel. I still don't know that it will be worth going back over and editing to death later, but it does have direction and a kind of theme that I like. I feel a great deal of relief that at least it is giving me chances to explore some of my obsessions. Natalie Goldberg, in Writing Down the Bones, says if you have serious obsessions give them their time, don't quash them, or they will take over everything you do. It may be that this is all I am doing right now, giving them head. But as a part of that I am getting an occasional chance to write feelings that are real and raw. Right now there is precious little of this, which is why I have felt such frustration, but I have hope. There are some opportunities in front of me.

I am glad that I have recorded this noveling journey so far. I will be able to go back the next time I take the plunge and say to myself, "see how impossible it seemed then?" I am sure I will finish by the end of the month. I will walk in to see my therapist, who is excited that I am doing this, and say, "It is done! It is awful but in some places there is a hint of gold." That will be enough.

Right now...a bit over 18,000 words. My goal for today is 19,550.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
evilmomlady
Mar. 12th, 2005 09:55 pm (UTC)
It probably wouldn't be worth the time editing it from what you say of it, but if you continue writing (as you intend to do) you will have the basis for another, better novel. All you will have to do, is take what is relevant and start again. You will know where you are going, so it won't be so difficult. I had my doubts about this NANOWRIMO, but now I can see how it can actually be useful. Who knows I may try it myself next year.
judith
Mar. 12th, 2005 10:20 pm (UTC)
Yes, exactly.
For me the goal is not to write a novel that will actually go anywhere, but rather to prove to myself that I can write that much, that I can focus enough to get that many words written in a month. I can see little pieces here and there in the work that I may want to take somewhere later but overall it's unimportant.

In a way it is better for me to be doing this now in the month of March rather than in November, the official NaNoWriMo month. I think I'll be ready for it then, ready to take another run, and be perhaps better prepared. Or not!
jackiejj
Mar. 13th, 2005 02:19 am (UTC)
Judith, I'm so proud of you.

You're doing it!
judith
Mar. 13th, 2005 02:37 am (UTC)
yes! I can hardly believe it.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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