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Walking

I went for a walk last night for the first time in about two weeks. Being sick and worrying about the flareup in my left knee had convinced me to lay back for a while. But last night I was motivated to do something.

The motivation kicked into high gear because I was angry at my bank. I like to work out anger physically. Maybe if I had a punching bag I could use that (Elaine has one...hmmmm...).

Sometimes, even, if I am angry and tired at the same time, I am more vulnerable and tend to weepiness or explosions and am less guarded. I like this about this emotional state, even though at times it can mean I say things that are not well-thought-out, that I later regret. I think it would be better if I were less guarded all the time, really, yet in so much of what I do I need to be so careful what I say.

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Judith Lautner
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