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I think about the many marriages and other unions that are far from ideal and I have to remind myself that I am better off, probably, not having any at all. At least for now. And I must be careful about what I let myself in for in the future.

Still, I'd sure like to have someone with me now. Someone to go places with, to do things with, to share pleasures and work, to discuss things with. It's hurting again. I am almost perverse in the way I keep twisting this knife inside me. Am I helping myself heal or just the opposite?

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Judith Lautner
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