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I am shaking again. Crying. Wondering why. I feel that if I understand what happened that it would help me not feel so hurt. But there's no reason, really, to think that.

I am packing some things in the back bedroom, Elaine's stuff, that I will send to her. Preparation for moving furniture. Keep busy. I know that to keep busy is to keep some things at bay, yet at the same time it is hard to want to do anything.

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Judith Lautner
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