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The loneliness intensifies

Dwain just stopped by to say he can't see me any more. So none of this friends thing after all. He was crying, he said he knows he has hurt everyone he cares about. He couldn't explain.

Of course this makes me feel like shit. I have no response to it. I have done nothing to deserve this yet it feels like I have. Or maybe not, maybe it just feels like I have done nothing to deserve it. That is more frightening, because it is as if I have no control, I can't expect anything to last, I can't relax, I can't trust.

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Judith Lautner
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